‘I'm honestly at my limit’: Woman refuses to spend entire work bonus on her sister-in-law's wedding florals and catering, is vilified for wanting to save the money for her child's future

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 3, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Work hard, play hard. That's what's been etched into most of our minds since we knew what the dreaded "workforce" was. We're told that if we work hard, we will earn what we need and deserve. In most cases, this is not true. Even in the cases where a hardworking employee is finally given the compensation they deserve for the amazing work they do, it's short-lived because, well, people will always be after another person's money. Your success is another man's treasure; an anticipatory benefit that many people feel they are entitled to, even if they are absolutely not deserving of it.

Such is the case in this next story, where a woman earns a pretty stellar work bonus. Her sister-in-law, in addition to her own husband and mother-in-law, insists that she use her entire cash bonus to fund her SIL's floral arrangements, deposit, and catering costs. Even though the woman explains that she would rather put the money aside for her child, her husband fails to back her up. This results in not only a family rift, but also her disinvitation from the wedding. I wouldn't even think about going after the entitled requests…

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  • "I kept the money for our son. And now they all hate me."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITAH for refusing to spend my work bonus on my sister in law’s wedding?"

    Okay. I honestly don't even know where to begin because this whole thing feels like a trap I didn't sign up for. I'm 27. I work
    via Obvious_Way_6907
  • full time. I got a pretty decent performance bonus from work recently nothing wild, but enough to give me some breathing room.
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  • My plan? Use it for our kid's savings. Not even for myself. Not for a vacation. Not even a new phone. Just stash it away for my
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  • son. Because let's be real life's expensive, and I don't want him to struggle the way I did growing up. Anyway. My husband knew
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  • about the bonus. I told him straight up. I said, "Let's save this for our kid." He nodded. Agreed. Said I was being smart. But then
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  • came his sister's wedding. And suddenly, it's like my money isn't mine anymore. First, it was little suggestions. "Maybe you could
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  • help with the flowers." Then it became bigger. "The venue deposit is due next week, maybe you could..." And before I could
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  • even blink, his mom was calling me, talking like it was already decided. "You'll cover the catering, right? You just got that
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  • bonus." Excuse me?? I said no. I said it nicely at first. I explained our plan, reminded them that we wanted to build something for our kid. My husband? He just sat there.
    via Obvious_Way_6907
  • FEDERAL RESERV UNITED STATES OFAME savings
    via Alexander Mils For Unsplash+
  • Didn't back me up. Just sat quiet while his mom guilt tripped me over "family" and "celebrating once in a lifetime moments."
    via Obvious_Way_6907
  • When I didn't budge, they turned on me. His mom said I was selfish. His sister texted me some passive-aggressive crop about
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  • how "some people only care about their own." My husband? Yeah, he finally said something. He said I was "overreacting" and
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  • it was just "one bonus" and we can "always save later." Like... are you serious? I work full time, manage our bills, handle
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  • everything in the house, and you think I owe your sister my bonus? Now the house is weird. I barely speak to my MIL. My husband's
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  • cold. His sister's wedding is next month and I was uninvited. They said, "It's best you don't come if you're going to act like this." Act
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  • like what? Like someone who just wants to protect her kid's future? I'm honestly at my limit. I feel like I'm being punished for thinking
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  • ahead. Like I'm being treated like an ATM just because I married into their family. And no one seems to care how hard I work, or
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  • how scared I am about the future. So yeah... I said no. I kept the money for our son. And now they all hate me. Aita?
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  • EduPepper NTA. The fact that your husband sat there and said nothing while his family ganged up on you is the biggest problem here. He's supposed to be your partner, not a silent spectator. You have a major husband problem, not a SIL problem.
    via EduPepper
  • ottttd NTA. The moment he said "we can always save later" he showed you his priorities. And its not with you or your kid.
    via ottttd

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement bonus work reddit story family feud parenting wedding entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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